You could allow fear of your past to win, but your future self will for sure lose

My next steps scare me sometimes. I have moments when I lose sight of what matters most in my life and find myself wondering how I will say those words, or send that email, saying, “It’s time. Let’s take Naomi Wright Ministries live.”

Launching this organization can feel overwhelming. There are moments when I foresee the losses, instead of the gains. Moments when the weight of telling my story feels heavier than the weight of carrying it along with me, though oftentimes exhausted and out-of-breath. When the likely reality of uncomfortable conversations with friends that don’t know my story, severed relationships with current group members, and possible retaliation from those not wanting this topic discussed, renders me internally frozen. Though I continue forward on the outside, fiercely focused as to not give in, I push back against an auto-pilot existence I default to when afraid; I won’t give in. There could be one other person out there...though I know there are even more.

After 35 years of secrets, calling an old friend to share stories of a life she has never heard a hint of, feels threatening. Choosing to disbelieve in the power of secrecy, in its lies of safety, I have to turn my heart away from the fear, again and again, knowing in every part of me that whatever comes next will be better. Whatever comes next will be more real, more true, more me, and prayerfully, more Christ.