Once upon a time, before anything big, bad, or very confusing had happened in my life, I was a college student walking along a beach with some friends. There was nothing particularly special about the day, or the beach, or the season of life. But in the middle of it God gave me an object lesson that has been one of the most enduring and impactful I’ve learned.

Let me be honest from the outset—I don’t like making covenants or pledges of loyalty, and outside of my wedding vows, I think I’ve only entered legally binding contracts like the ones I signed to buy my house and accept employment. So, when the topic of church covenants comes up, I get a little tense. This isn’t to say that I object to church covenants wholesale; rather, I think they should only be entered into prayerfully and after a potential church member has discussed the

For example, consider old man’s beard lichen. It looks like a plant but it actually consists of two organisms; fungus and algae living in a mutualistic relationship. They need each other to thrive and survive. The fungus protects the algae from the environment and is a moisture source while algae produce food for both.  They are at their best and most healthy when they work together. This is known as a mutual symbiosis. While ecologists debate the nuances of these relationshi

The holiday season can be the best of times and the worst of times, to steal a phrase from novelist Charles Dickens in his classic, A Tale of Two Cities. We are pulled in all sorts of directions, and the expectation seems to be that we’ll be full of merriment throughout it. The truth is, though, that if you’ve experienced loss, whether through death of a loved one or by way of spiritual abuse, the holidays can be exceedingly difficult,

When I was in high school, the Left Behind series by Jerry B. Jenkins and Tim LaHaye were all the rage. I remember heading to the Sam’s Club on release day to get the newest book in the series, and I’d devour it quickly. I was wrapped up in the rapture, and so were a lot of people. At the time, I attended a Catholic high school, and one of my classmates saw me with one of the Left Behind books. He asked me about it and had a lot of specific questions about rapture theology.

I’ve always been the kind of parent who has been as transparent as possible with my kids. For example, I’ve never shied away from telling them how much I make, something that so many of us were told was none of our business while we were growing up. In my opinion, it’s best to include my kids in difficult or challenging discussions, too.

Have you ever stumbled upon a situation online where one Christian was calling out another Christian publicly for sin? I’ve seen this when someone holds a belief that doesn’t align with Scripture, but I’ve also seen instances where people are publicly accused of abuse or of covering up abuse. Inevitably, someone in the comments will say, “You should follow Matthew 18.” When I see comments like that, I usually ask myself, “Does Matthew 18 even apply here?”

Emotionally healthy spiritual leaders are hard to come by and there is just something about leading a religious flock that draws emotionally vacant, power hungry, and glory seeking manipulators, like moths to a flame.  Just as with many types of abuses, there is a spectrum of intensity and hurt that befalls victims of spiritual abuse, but how can we identify and avoid leaders like these?

La expresión «disciplina eclesiástica» o «disciplina en la iglesia» me recuerda a la expresión «cama de clavos», porque ambas evocan sentimientos de angustia y dolor, y ambas incluyen palabras que parecen completamente incongruentes. Las camas deben ser cálidas y cómodas, no provocar heridas punzantes; y la iglesia debe ser un lugar seguro para aprender sobre Jesús en una comunidad amorosa, no un recinto para el castigo.

How do we know if church discipline is being used against us instead of for us?

As is often the case with whistleblowers, we sometimes feel guilt and regret for our actions. If you’re in a situation where you feel like you may need to call out spiritual abuse, I hope this is an encouragement to you; the road may be long, and you may lose some people along the way, but find hope in the knowledge that you are doing what is biblical and right. I also want to point out that for some of you, you may not feel safe calling out the abuse. I’ll offer some suggest

Beatrice temblaba al ver los caballos. No tenía experiencia con ellos y su ansiedad se disparaba. Sabía que su consejera la observaba y recordó su sugerencia: interactuar con caballos podría ayudarla a encontrar alivio a su soledad y a su desconfianza hacia las personas. Decir que era escéptica sería quedarse corto.

"This story is a composite of many true experiences I have both observed and read about.  They are filled with healing and relief against a backdrop of soul destroying evil.  What is it about a sensitive horse that can be a bridge toward relational healing for one's soul?  What about other aspects of creation such as mountain top gazing of a stunning landscape, or experiencing the sights, sounds, and earthy scents of an emerald forest, or admiring the beauty and perfume scent

Muchos de nosotros hemos interiorizado el mensaje de que simplemente no debemos permitir que las dificultades nos afecten. Que debemos seguir adelante lo más rápido posible y nunca mirar atrás.

I was at an event recently, and the topic of church hurt came up over coffee. (I find that coffee is usually involved when heavy issues like abuse arise.) I shared a bit of my own story with the group, which led to someone else sharing her story, telling me that it took her a while to recognize that what she experienced was wrong. She reminded me that church hurt is the result of people, not God, and that’s true. 

¿Alguna vez has querido hacer una pregunta en tu entorno religioso, pero has sentido que no podías porque sabías que algo estaría en juego si lo hacías?

When I was growing up, I didn’t really learn that much about the fear of the Lord, but that’s not true of some of my friends, especially those who grew up in cults. The fear of the Lord is often wielded as a weapon in high-control groups, but what the Bible describes as the fear of the Lord isn’t supposed to be used to harm or control...

My first memory of a pastor being removed from his position was Jimmy Swaggart, a popular televangelist in the 80s...

Mi padre era un hombre volátil. Nadie sabía qué lo haría explotar o cuándo perdería el control, así que siempre estábamos en guardia y...

«Nos estaremos alejando de la bendición de Dios si no nos comprometemos».